Survivors Self-Care
Most survivors of sexual abuse, assault, or trauma will experience myriad emotions ranging from guilt to anger, and eventually, resolution, healing, and integration. Along the journey back to finding yourself, it is important to remember that taking care of yourself and your needs is not selfish. It is a PRIORITY in helping you deal with and prevent undue stress and emotional overloading. So, here are some tips that will allow you to give yourself a little grace and a lot of self-empathy.
- Find your support system. Think about those in your life whom you trust and can support and validate your feelings. Engage in conversations with them and allow them to lift you up when you cannot lift yourself up. Know that it is okay to avoid those who may interfere with your healing.
- Talk about the assault and your feelings around it and your recovery. This can mean seeking out a therapist to create a safe space for you to discuss what happened and how you have reacted to it. It can mean choosing when, where, and to whom you disclose information to. It is okay for YOU to control the narrative. It is YOUR story to tell, and it is perfectly acceptable to decide what information you feel safe sharing.
- Practice stress reduction. Things like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, exercise, and mindfulness can all produce feelings of relaxation, which is incompatible with stress. Find what relaxes you. It may be a certain piece of music, a warm bubble bath, meditation, or yoga. The “what” doesn’t matter. What matters is that it is something YOU find relaxing.
- Consider taking on a hobby that is creative and playful, something that brings you joy. It might be gardening or creating an area full of colorful flowers that bring you a sense of satisfaction, knitting a chunky blanket to use on a cold night, or painting a picture, even if no one else ever sees it.
- Put yourself in a “timeout”. Timeouts aren’t just for misbehaving toddlers! Putting yourself in a timeout that allows you time to relax and recharge can be particularly helpful when you start feeling overwhelmed.
- If you enjoy reading, find time to indulge in reading a good book. It’s ok to “escape” from our every day lives once in a while.
- If you enjoy writing, start a journal where you can freely express your thoughts and emotions. It may mean writing a letter to your younger self providing love and support.
- Consider writing a letter to your abuser and letting them know exactly what you are feeling and experiencing. You may choose to send the letter if you’re comfortable. You may choose to write the letter and then tear it up, scattering it on the wind while releasing your own negative emotions, or burn it in a fireplace and picture yourself rising from the ashes like the phoenix, stronger than ever.
- Draw or paint a picture of your emotions: the anger, the guilt, the sadness. Be creative in your expression of your feelings and use this as a cathartic experience.
- Hug a family member, a friend, or your fur-baby. Hugging others releases oxytocin, a chemical that creates feelings of calmness and relaxation. Hugging also releases serotonin, the “feel good” neurotransmitter in our brains. Even using a weighted blanket or stuffed animal can help release these chemicals.
- Finally, give yourself permission to not be okay some days. It’s normal, and it’s nothing to be ashamed about!!!
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